Mindless Musings — Volume II, Issue I (Ignorance is Bliss — Day 0)

March 18, 2020

Ignorance is Bliss is a series detailing conditions and developments from inside an isolation site at Fort Bliss, Texas, housing US Soldiers returning from overseas deployments.

Greetings, friends,

So…it’s been a while since my last post; I had high aspirations for making this a weekly thing, but that clearly didn’t work out. Sorry.

As some of you may have heard, there’s a pandemic spreading across the globe. Some refer to it as the “Chinese virus,” because it seems to have originated in China, or the “beer virus,” because it shares a name with Grupo Modelo’s well-known Corona. I prefer to refer to it as the more scientifically apt “COVID-19,” because I read a book once, and Corona is shit beer anyway. In any case, due to the infamous pandemic, we’re spending the next couple weeks in isolation. Hurray!

A few days ago, we departed the Balkan paradise of Kosovo, leaving the good times and the party scene there behind to return to the US. The Oregon National Guard’s 2nd Battalion, 162nd Infantry Regiment is now holding the reins in maintaining safe and secure environment for all the people of Kosovo — I’m sure they’ll do a great job.

Our trip back was generally smooth, via a contracted commercial flight. We had a couple hour layover in Shannon, Ireland, where we had the opportunity to enjoy the Green Isle’s favorite beverages in moderation. Not a bad way to kill time on St. Patrick’s Day. I’ve checked “drink beer in Ireland on St. Patty’s” off my bucket list. I had an Irish coffee and a Smithwick’s (pronounced “Schmiddick’s”) red. Guinness just sounded a little heavy.

From there, it was a short 10 hour flight to Fort Bliss, Texas, where the real fun began. We landed a little after 4 AM, stood around outside for a couple hours waiting for the drug dogs to sniff our bags (they didn’t hit on anybody; BOR-ing), and loaded the bus. The Fort Bliss Soldiers in charge of our transport politely informed us that we wouldn’t have access to food, water, or restroom facilities until we got off the bus “in a couple hours.” We ended up sitting on the bus for about six hours before disembarking at the isolation site in the New Mexico desert for our in-brief. Dark humor was the order of the day; spirits were low, but we’re a resilient bunch.

I’ll spare you all the details of the brief (mainly because I don’t know them — I think I slept through about half of it). Core concepts: Fort Bliss units only had a couple days to prepare our isolation site, they’re sorry everything is so austere, and they’ll do anything they can to support us. We’re here for 14 days, but today is “day zero” and doesn’t count. Whoever thought that up is a…series of sentence-enhancing expletives.

We got a “box lunch” consisting of canned tuna salad, tortillas, a juice box and some snacks. I ate the trail mix and fruit snacks, but skipped the tuna; partly because I don’t trust off-brand canned tuna, partly because I have the refined palate of a 10 year old.

After the brief about…whatever it was about, we were shown our quarters — rows of quonset huts in the desert, each approximately 20×40 feet. If you’re not familiar with the term, a quonset hut is basically half of a giant culvert, capped off at each end. They’re climate-controlled, and have concrete floors. Certainly not the Hilton, but also better than canvas tents in the desert. There are 12-14 of us in each hut, on institutional mattresses that wreak hell on my old decrepit back.

Dinner this evening was Army UGRs (Unified Group Rations — basically mass-cooked glorified MREs). The entree was baked chicken, seasoned with JP-8 (aviation diesel fuel). I imagine they left the insulated food containers near a generator or idling truck. In any case, lots of headaches tonight — unrelated, I’m sure.

Zero days down; 14 to go. More to come. If I get around to it.

Another disclaimer: I don’t represent the Department of Defense, the United States Army, or any other government agency. I don’t represent anyone but myself. Opinions expressed here are mine, and mine alone, primarily because I don’t care what anyone else thinks.